I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
