You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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