the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
