I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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