He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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