ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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