frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
