If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
