Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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