How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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