i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
she smelled like a LAN party
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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