It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
