and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Randomize
