did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
