Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
me + whiskey = a bad person
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
