Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
