dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
