Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
She's just so happy...and so naked.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
