He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
