I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
