it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
