I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I don't deserve a penis
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
