What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
