I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
