i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Randomize
