saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
