so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
