I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
