i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
