you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
She's the barista slut.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
