There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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