Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
