wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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