It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
