I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
