I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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