accomplished twins. life is a go
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize
