Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
