And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
