He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
