I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
