After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Two words: blizzard sex
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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