I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
