I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Pooping to opera.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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