There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
