I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
