bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Randomize
