I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Randomize
