dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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