God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
