you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize