? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
