I saw his package. It spoke to me.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
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