Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
