i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
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