i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
