11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
