she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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