My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
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