oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
