wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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