forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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