this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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