Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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