before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
